Where Am I Going?

In my Jeep Grand Cherokee, I was heading down Woodway Drive in Houston.  I was recently divorced.  It was 2002 and I chose Houston as a landing spot. My consulting job was at Waste Management installing PeopleSoft.  As a computer consultant, it involved traveling and at the time Houston was a hub for Continental airlines, later to be United.  My first apartment in Houston was at Woodway and Voss. Waste Management was in downtown Houston and Woodway really was the route to work.

I drove that artery hundreds of times and have many memories of it to be honest.  My heart being broken a few years later, restaurants, pubs, friends, neighbors, and many more.  I was fresh off the divorce, found a that place, had my stuff moved from Edmond, OK to there.  I adopted Darwin (my cat RIP) thereafter.  September 2002 was all about new beginnings for me.

That Jeep Grand Cherokee got me through that with music in my CD player.  Two songs helped me on that commute downtown.  One was Rhiannon by Fleetwood Mac. 

Rhiannon – Fleetwood Mac

I had just rediscovered them and that song always did it for me. It began another obsession to this day that includes an English Fleetwood Mac cover band. 

Rumors of Fleetwood Mac

The 2nd song was Crystal Ball by Styx.  It was from their live album Caught in the Act.  I first listened to this album in 1993.  I had known Styx from my high school years.  One of my friends in Iowa would drive to Jefferson (Iowa).  The boys would pile into his car and Styx was blaring.  But in 1993 I rediscovered them.


My friend John was driving.  We were heading to Des Moines to see an Indy car race there in the summer of 1993.  He played that CD Caught in the Act Live over and over on that trip.  It truly was an eventful trip as in the summer of 1993, the floods hit Iowa.  Hard.  I still remember the Des Moines River being up to its banks.  Typically, the route from Omaha to Des Moines was I-80 for about 2 1/2 hours.  Well this trip turned into a lot more as we had to use side roads due to road closings.  Somehow, we got to Des Moines, but those rivers were very high at the time and it got worse.  The power of that water was humbling like nothing I’ve ever seen before and by that time I had lived through a tornado. 

To this day I still listen to that album, now on i-tunes.  That song got me through my divorce.

“I wonder what tomorrow has in mind for me

Or am I even in its mind at all

Perhaps I’ll get a chance to look ahead and see

Soon as I find myself a crystal ball

Soon as I find myself a crystal ball

Tell me, tell me where I’m going

I don’t know where I’ve been”

Styx – Crystal Ball

I thought about song came on while fixing dinner as my weekend started on Sunday.  Tommy Shaw has the most perfect note, in my humble opinion, in this song when he sings “in it is mind at ALL” at the 2:30 mark or thereabouts.  The studio version pales in comparison.  It seems almost rigid.

Some days I don’t know where I am going.  But as my dear friend Jenn taught me, I am going onward with my gifts.    When you reach a certain age, it is less about nostalgia and more about choices that led you here to this point.  This song always makes me look at my choices.  I do believe my greatest chapter is ahead of me, but you still look at choices, those forks in the road to see how you landed in this one particular spot.

I finished my dinner and pondered that song.  Tell me tell me where I am going because I don’t know where I’ve been.  I am always going onward.  It’s day 2 of my weekend and I woke up in a great mood so onward I shall go!